The Honorary Brazilian

Every now and them something rare happens in football that surprises you. Something like this. The surprises comes in how suddenly you react to it. Euphoric and spontaneous. Almost instinctive.
People talk about "the power of football", and 99% of the time they're just trying to place importance in some arbitrary physical exertions. "Only a game." your cynical, world weary heart says bitterly.

Then something like this happens. United fans will remember Macheda. City fans: Aguero. Argentinians: Maradona. The Dutch: Van Basten and my Ghanaians? Well, we remember Gyan.

As a 7 year old, Zidane made France's moment in the World Cup Final.

Chale, on Sunday, as Brazil led Spain by 1 goal, deep down we were all Brazilians. Just like it was for this 90s kid growing up in the mid-late 90s/early 00s, Brazil's organic ways stood against the machine-like might of Europe.
In playground football, the first teams chosen were always, being in London, England and Brazil. France had a little period around '98 but the favourites were almost certainly more exotic.

On Sunday while watching Brazil in the 44th minute of  the Confederations Cup Final, I found, to my delight, that I was Brazilian again!

"Yyyyyiiiiipeeeee!!"-Me after incredibly painful surgery and excruciating skin bleaching.

Our moment? Neymar's goal was our moment.

I haven't been in a school playground for many a year now, but I imagine, in the last few years the unfortunate younger generations have often forgone Brazil for Spain, Germany and all the technicality Europe has to offer.
After Sunday, that may be no more because...
Its cool to be Brazilian again.

Confederations Cup FINALE 2013 Special Edition PREDICTION

I predict...Spain 1-1 Brazil (Brazil wins 4-3 on Penalties)

Confederations Cup FINALE 2013 Special Edition Part2

Okay, as promised:

Ballingest (foot)Ballers Award

Manager

Fresh from winning his teams continental cup against the odds, this manager again showed massive amounts of courage in his squad selection, then even more bravery in how he set them up against Spain.
Despite the one sided score (which was due more to Alba going BeastMode than anything else) many reckon that this team gave the most impressive performance against the world champions since Italy in the EURO 2012 group stage.
All this with a squad with an average age of 23, missing loads of players through injury.
Impressive, right?
I give you:

Stephen Keshi of Nigeria

Certified footBaller

Player 

Now, I, and nearly every other football follower, am always going on about this guy. His poise. His technical prowess. His vision. Not unlike Berbatov or Cantona; His swagger. He's not exactly Ramires:

Maybe more like Scholes:

                                    

 He started off the tournament with a sick free kick, watched nonchalantly as his team slumped miserably without him after missing a game through injury.

Ended his Confed Cup with the most ICE-COLD penalty ever.

Yes, I'm talking about the wine conniseur himself:

Andrea Pirlo of Italy and Juventus

Don't need no sunglasses and chain. Cool enough already. And thats even without his beard. 

Team

I give this one to Tahiti. No, no, of course not. I like supporting the underdog and that but this blog is REAL. We always keep it real. 

So, this team has been under nuff pressure from day dot. They've dropped down the rankings faster than Suarez drops to the referee's ankles. Yet, they've managed to make the Final. 

Of course, I'm talking about Brazil.

The weight of a nation combined with the distraction of some nuts riotting hasn't managed to knock A Seleção out of their march to the final. 

The older folk (Yeh I'm looking at you dad) say they're nothing like the "Good old days" with Socrates and co. but I think the individual talent is quite nice. Neymar, Paulinho, Fred (somewhat suprisingly)...even Oscar has been okay. The defence has conceded a few but that's classic Brazil innit?

Ooooooon second thoughts, maybe they need to grow up...
 In spite of all this, whatever happens, I've found that whichever games they played in were live and gripping. Apart from maybe the Uruguay game. That one made me want to pour hot disinfectant into my eyes.

Ladies and Gentlemen....

Brazil Mens National Team

(foot)Ballers down to the very last man

So, to round up:

• Ballingest Manager Award Nigeria's Stephen Keshi (although the Nigerian FA don't seem to agree)
• Ballingest Player Award Italy and Juventus' Andrea Pirlo
• Ballingest Team Award  Brazil Mens National Team. I have to diffrentiate coz the Women are pretty (foot)Baller too:

 

Thank You, and Goodnight.

Confederations Cup FINALE 2013 Special Edition Part1

Well, its been a while since the last post but I'm sure you'll forgive me. The lack of internet coupled with the end of the European football seasons made things difficult.
But...

I'm baaaack suckers!!

This time, especially for the Confederation Cup, I will address the following:

• Top/Flop: Managers, Players, Teams
• Final prediction

But first, I will give a personal quick round up of the tournaments so far.
Brazil started off well with this guy:.

Overrated or Brazil's next hero?

Japan looked like how Japan have always looked. Think lightweight Arsenal but without a decent goal threat. Maybe Honda should be written off...

Get it?

Italy were okayish but Pirlo showed the younger ones up. Apart from De Rossi, Pirlo and Balotelli, Italy players are so boring; like Michael Owen mixed with a cup of white paint. De Rossi's beard alone is cooler than some of these guys. And as for Pirlo,

Makes Berbatov look like Ultra-ADHD Ty Pennington on Hyperstimulants

Okay stop it now, Andrea

I challenge you to remember what any of their midfielders look like.

Mexico...erm...I've heard Mexican gangsters can be tough nutters and they do loads of kidknapping and stuff. So why are they so soft centred? They attack well and look South American in that respect, but you're soon reminded that they're in North America by their suprisingly weak defence.
What their centre backs look like:

Guardian.co.uk

Mexsport

Who they play like:

    

Cowabunga indeed.

Spain Vs Uruguay was sooo dead! Spain can be very boring when they want to test the waters u come of a new tournament. Obviously they're probably still the best in the world (we'll see what Ghana and Germany have to say about that, eh?) but I think they keep posession out of fear. 

Look at how Nigeria made good use of the ball against them. Ghana U20 did the same against Spain U20. If they come up against a physically strong, fast team who are willing to press riskily, then all they have is their damn posession. Uruguay couldnt handle Spain but the young, inexperienced Nigeria almost did.  

Nnamdi Oduamadi in particular looks decent.

Maybe Cavani and Suarez need to go at the top of a 4-4-2 diamond? We'll discuss that another day.

Last but not least....

The Mighty Tahiti

Cutting through the waves, every sinew and tendon straining at maximal capacity, all the way to Brazil by boat.......

.......only to get crushed and concede 24 in three games. All this is after you've given your oponents lovely traditional necklaces, as well.

Torres consoles Roche after he realises the Spaniards took the necklaces, slaughtered them mercilesly anyway, AND now they can't  return the necklaces to the gift shop.

  But seriously, If you came from a country like this:

Would you actually practice football? In fact why would you do anything but swim and surf all day?

 The Tahiti team have earned my respect even more for leaving this and going to crisis hit Brazil.

So, in part 2, it gets fun... Heres a reminder of whats in store:

• Top/Flop: Managers, Players, Teams
• Final prediction/preview

Remember to comment, and if you think I'm chattin a load of rubbish then tell me why or forever hold your beef.

Barcelona – The Catalan Blaugrana Giants- Part 2.

Part 2:

So, we're back and I'm asking perhaps the ultimate 'one man team' question:  Are Barcelona a one man team? Now its pretty obvious which 'one man' I'm talking about. Clue: it aint Mascherano.

Its actualy bonkers that a brilliant team like Barca, with the obvious players like Xavi, Iniesta etc. can rely on one man. But Messi's goal scoring ability is bonkers so...

Messi La Liga goals: 43

Barca La Liga goals: 80

David Villa (Next highest La Liga scorer): 8

 "At least I look good."

Maybe some die hard fans can suggest that Barca dont need 'Million goal Messi' as much as his million goals imply. Maybe my new nickname for Messi will catch on, and I'll trademark it. Maybe neither.

We know about Messi's demi-god presence creating space for teammates. We also know the counter-argument that Leo can only do magic with other magicians (basically Xavi). We know that the only games Barca can afford to drop Messi in are against weaker teams.

But have we can also counter with the view that Messi's strong injury record is helped by Barca's strength affording him rest whenever he needs it.

Heres what I think. Barca ARE a one man team.

In the big games at least.

That man alternates between the referee and Messi. Depends whether Messi's on form or if the ref's been paid.

4. Guardiola: Tactical genius or lucky inheritor?

Here's an analogy of a common belief.

Imagine. You've just been hired as an assassin and your first missions are to take out every leader of the G8. You go to bed that first night sobbing into your pillow. How are you meant to get close to either of them let alone kill them? You toss and turn all night. The next morning you wake blinking at a huddled mass in the corner. It's like the magic of christmas! All the presidents and prime ministers you could dream of, all tied up together! Free of charge!

The assassin is Guardiola. 

 

 "Jose, you're next."

The G8 reps are the Barca team. The assignment/contract is the job of building a team after Rijkaard's champions.

But after all this, I believe a good way of getting the answer is by going tactical.

Rijkaard's Barca :

Guardiola's Barca:

So, maybe Guardiola didnt bring anything new to the table formation-wise. Even in terms of possesion strategy, while he himself came out of la Masia, much of the Barca philosophy (club self- sufficiency, technical development) is attributed to Ajax via former Barca boss Johan Cryuff, where Rijkaard gained his name as a player.

To wrap up, here's an unecessarily complicated diagram to ruin your day.

Did Pep perfect the tikitaka that bores/passes teams to death or is its perfection congruent with many la Masia graduates coming of age together? 

If you want, you can tell me in the comments below.

NEXT TIME!!!!: Arsenal- Should Wenger be sacked? Does Arsenal need a star player? Is Gervinho actually good?

Barcelona – The Catalan Blaugrana Giants- Part 1.

1^st up!!!!

I think I’m gonna tackle a tough one first.

No. I’m not going to talk about Barcelona cheating.

1. Tito Vilanova

Vilanova has been the manager of Barcelona since 2012, having been the assistant manager since 2008.

As Barca are currently:

·         13 points clear in the league , with the end of the season in sight

·         In the ¼ finals (last 8) of the UEFA Champions League

·         Still annihilating unfortunate teams after a tiny blip in form.

Only a psycho, such as this man, 

would think of sacking good ol’ Tito.

But, after the aforementioned ‘blip’, some people suggest that his ongoing cancer treatment is affecting his ability to manage the team.  Club president Sandro Rosell reassured our Tito though.

2. Victor Valdes

Whenever I chat to a football fan about a Barcelona match in which they conceded a few goals and looked dodgy defensively, Valdes (or Pinto to a lesser degree) is often the target. Oh no, God forbid that Puyol is more injury prone than Kieron Dyer,  about 50, and sometimes gets done like this 

OUCH! (Gif from www.101GreatGoals.com)

Add to that Pique’s recent distractions and poor form and  I think it’s safe to say poor Valdes may be a scapegoat.

I believe Valdes  is a good keeper who is unlucky in getting compared to Casillas and also must either have stupid levels of concentration or be doped up to stay awake when Barca go on a possession spree e.g . 83% vs Tenerife (May 2010). Ridiculous.

 If you have time, come back some other time for part 2.

Hi football fans

From Olly at Redcafe.net
As I write this from (insanely) sunny Ghana, there are 4 things within the world of football that I think are sticking out.

These are all to do with the factors in a football team’s performance on the pitch.

I would like to focus on:

1.         The crazy trend of sacking managers. e.g. Blackburn have had 5 managers this season.
2.         The perhaps unfair view of armchair critics on players e.g. Heskey
3.     The rise of the ‘One man team’ debate. e.g. RVP, Suarez, Messi etc.
4.     The squad’s responsibility vs the manager’s responsibility. e.g. Ghana/ Kwesi Appiah AfCON 2013.

Now, I will try to analyse individual football matches while also looking at specific clubs. I say 'try' cause I’m depending on the availability of good internet which relies on Ghanaian mobile networks (btw Vodafone you are rubbish) which in turn relies on whether they are being incompetent or not.

As you can imagine, this is pretty shaky ground so I’m sure you’ll forgive me if I fail to deliver.